For X-Philes and Shippers of Mulder/Scully. An archive of the Senseless Shipper Surveys that cluttered the alt.tv.x-files usenet back in the day. All in preparation of the RETURN of the famed television show for a six-episode run in the near future!
Looking back, Season Three is arguably one of the most solid seasons The X-Files had. Great guest stars, great writing (this was when Darin Morgan tossed in three of the funniest and thought-provoking scripts of science fiction television in the 1990s), fully getting into the mytharc and giving us classic Monsters of the Week.
But which episodes during Season Three would you deem the most Relationshipper-friendly, UST-fueled, Just-Kiss-Already episodes? I'd like your opinion.
I'm gonna see if I can embed a poll here. Yes, it seems to have worked...
Paperclip DPO Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose Oubliette War of the Coprophages Jose Chung's From Outer Space Quagmire Wetwired
I will not list Syzygy. That is a NoRomos wet dream.
I will not list the Killer Kitteh one either. That was just bad.
I will throw in Avatar for the Walter Skinner fanbase, though.
Go ahead and fill out the poll please and thank ye. In the meantime, I've kinda made up my mind and will try to write up 'Shipper Surveys for Oubliette and War of the Coprophages. I may also post a non-survey bit for Jose Chung, see if people here recognize it...
The rewatching of the X-Files during the 201 Days Of has reached Season Three, and to my shame I don't have 'Shipper Surveys for much of this season (since, as posted before, I started doing these Season Five).
I *do* have a couple of Season Threes done already, and this is one of them. It's a pretty simplified and short survey, and there's not much 'Shippiness to it except for the end scenes. And of course the best line in the show ever!
So here goes!
PUSHER - Senseless 'Shipper Survey
No SPOILER Space for a repeat, so:
1) When Pusher opened the episode and glanced at the tabloid filled with production in-jokes, your first thought was:
A) "That can't be St. Scully in that photo! The Enigmatic One's lingerie is red, dammit!"
B) "Fluke-boy's back!"
C) "Where's Mulder? Where's Scully? Where's Emily? A grocery store is a great place to show them as a family unit..."
2) As Pusher repeated the word "cerulean", did you:
A) counter that with the words "lipstick red"
B) fall into a trance and envision Alex Trebek as an MiB, oh wait that's a later episode...
C) picture Dana using that color for her bridesmaids when she and Fox get married
3) When Mulder noticed the word "ronin" and quipped to Scully "You never saw Yojimbo?", your first thought was:
A) "No. Scully watches more uplifting spiritual films...like the collective works of John Woo."
B) "Aw, gee, and the actor Minufe just died this weekend... (flashback note: true story) :( :( :("
C) "I'm sure it's playing in an arthouse somewhere, Fox, why don't you take her on a date and go see it?"
4) As Scully rested on Mulder's shoulder, and Mulder reached over and gently touched the corner of her mouth, did you:
A) Task Mulder for not bringing a pillow for her to use.
B) Think Mulder should have used a tissue to wipe away the drool.
C) Drool yourself and begin hoping that this is where they do it.
5) When Pusher asks, "Do you and your pretty partner work well together?", your first thought was:
A) "Not really. The Punk never listens to her and keeps ditching her."
B) "Cerulean?" Uh-oh, Modell's getting... into your... head... oh no..........
C) "Only in our dreams and fanfiction (deep sigh)."
6) During a shooting range practice (showing off Chekhov's Gun in the process), the two agents bicker about what happened in the courtroom and to the agents Modell drove to insane acts. Mulder: Modell psyched the guy out, he put the Whammy on him. Scully: Please explain to me the scientific nature of the Whammy. You:
A) shout "You go, girl!"
B) ponder "Why was Mulder's target the letter Q? Isn't the letter K more dangerous?"
C) answer "Actually, show her the PHYSICAL nature of the Whammy!"
Basically the whole television series in one witty sentence.
7) As Modell makes his attempts to find out more about his new best friend Mulder by sneaking into the Hoover Building and causing Molly the office worker to beat up Skinner (don't ask!), the FBI is able to use that assault to get a warrant and search Modell's apartment. They find evidence that Modell is sick in the head in more ways than one. As Mulder and Scully debated the medical condition of Modell the Pusher, did you:
A) accept the rational abilities of Scully which matched Mulder's intuitive abilities
B) wonder if kiwi tropical fruit drinks taste any good
C) wish they'd close the bathroom door and jump into the shower
8) The investigation tracks down Modell to the hospital where he's getting treated. Just as they show up, Modell turns it into a shooting/hostage situation. Mulder volunteers to go in solo to confront him. When Mulder aimed the MulderCam at Scully and asked her to smile, did you:
C) Both, very wickedly...!
9) In the final confrontation, as Modell forced Mulder to play Russian Roulette and Scully pleaded with Mulder to fight him, did you:
A) Wonder why Scully didn't punch out Modell which would have broken his concentration as easily as the fire alarm! It would have been more satisfying too...
B) Realize that every other time Modell had been captured it was due to there being multiple people in the room, and that he can only control one person at a time, so a Zerg Rush was doable! Dammit, people, this solution had been there all along!
C) Notice Fox's willingness to shoot himself, but struggle against Modell's push to shoot Dana, showing his deep concern and love for his partner, which nicely contrasted the tears flowing down Dana's face as she stood there, unwilling to desert Fox and using her own deep concern to keep Fox from pulling the trigger. Awwwwwwwwwww...
Bonus points: If you shout out "CERULEAN" when Modell gets that Oh Crap look on his face when the fire alarm goes off, you win a firm handshake from Skinner.
10) Modell is laid up in the hospital, kept unconscious and likely to die from that tumor. Mulder and Scully stand there, recognizing how pathetic Modell truly was, and as Scully reached for Mulder's hand, squeezing it ever so gently, did you:
A) See it as an act of forgiveness and redemption by a spiritually enlightened being known as the Enigmatic One
B) Wonder how Modell survived the brain tumor and shrapnel for that following season's sequel episode
C) Wish Fox and Dana pushed Modell's unconscious body off the hospital bed ("He won't be needing it!") so they can finally do it!
If you more often than now answered:
A) Then you are an OBSSEr who cannot be swayed by the mental powers of such a small man as Modell
B) Then you are...cerulean...ceruuuuuuulean...is a gentle... gentle...oh, what's the next word...?
C) Then you are a 'Shipper who knows the location of every fire alarm switch in your workplace. Oh, and that Dana and Fox are meant for each other.